Sep
2
2011
Rating: Young Adult and safe for all.
Genre: classical fantasy.
When I awoke from the following dream I couldn’t help but find similarities to other fantasy references. I thought of Arthur and Merlin, Harry Potter, Dragonheart
After I finished my draft post I knew there was too much missing and so I took it to my 10 year old nephew (who is also a creative story teller). His first comment to me was “if this is the beginning you need to write a pre-story or something to inform the people of the characters.” Children have a way of putting things into perspective. He was right. After a wonderful conversation with him, I finished the scenes I’m sharing with you. I do admit that what I’ve written below isn’t generating a “strong feeling” about the situations and I apologize for the lack there of. I also apologize for the flash backs verses telling the story at those times, I wanted to get this out quickly and still provide enough details for anyone to follow. I didn’t want this story line to be in my thoughts when I move into NaNoWriMo mode in November with an entirely different story (a Sci-Fi).
If you like it or hate it, you need to tell me, so please leave comments. I’m not learning if you don’t shout out.
If you are an Agent or an Editor—yes, I have more. Email me at jamie at mccoard dot net or find me on Twitter @Tevyn.
---------------- The story jumps in near the beginning ------------------
He’d been following the dark hunters for four weeks now in hopes that they would lead him to the prophesied champion or at least others holding the gift. Since his master had revealed the prophecy five moon cycles ago, Lanue has been searching for Terian’s savior. This was the second time in his life his world had shifted upside down because of the gift of Chara.
The first time was when he received a letter requesting his presence in court to test as a gifted and as Meera’s next apprentice to the Master Charee. Master Teir Charee had not had an apprentice in over seven ages. His last one fell to an accident while working with fire. The fire took out one of the eight internal defense towers in Meera.
While working in his father’s shop, the highest praised blacksmith in the gates of Meera, Lanue received the summoning letter. It was sent to all boys and girls within and nearby the town when they come of age. Only four passed the test last year and 1 within the last quarters’ testing cycle.
Lanue wanted nothing more than to finish the test and return back to the forge to work the fires with his father. While taking the test, he was watched closely by Teir Charee. The old man’s stares were surprisingly soft and excited. Lanue passed the test and Master Teir Charee selected him as his new apprentice. The reality, for our would-be blacksmith, was shifted on its heels. Teir Charee told him that he has potential for great power, but that his control was blocking his Chara.
For the last four ages Lanue has been the Meera’s Charee apprentice and devoted in his new craft. They were in service to the King of Terian, who sits on the throne in castle Meera. On a quite day of mixing potions in their work room is when the second shift in his life occurred. Master Tier dropped a vial of green liquid onto the ground. On its impact with the ground it shattered and spread on the marbled floor. Lanue gave a rather loud jump, but Tier was unmovable.
“Are you alright?” Lanue said as he moved to investigate the damage. He noticed that Master Teir eyes were glazed over. Teir began mumbling quietly at first. Lanue asked him again and placed his hands on the old man’s shoulders preparing to give him a shake. Teir’s voice grew louder as he repeated a chant.
“The time of the dark rider’s comes with the sign of old.
The gift is at its end and all will unfold.
Darkness clouds the heart and mind.
The gift is fear and it is under a bind.
A new gift champion not yet known, with a beast, comes to the dark king.
Together they free the people from suffering.
Abath Deon Syth.”
Lanue quickly grabbed at the scribe and wrote down the Master Teir’s words. This had happened once before on the day of his test, it is another prophecy. After writing it down he reached back out to Teir and used the awaken spell to bring him out of the trance.
“Terithica Dar.”
Master Teir stumbled, but regained his feet as any old man would. He had help from Lanue’s strong and steady hands. He gave Lanue a knowing look and they began discussing what it could mean.
---------------- Sometime later: another scene ------------------
Lanue watched from the side as Master Teir addressed the court and recited the prophecy to King Felleyion. The grand hall went awkwardly silent when the Master informed them of his seeing. Information, to the nobles, was as important as sweets to a child.
“What does it mean?” the King broke the silence.
A wave of many discussions came from those in court and the sounds began to echo in a choirs throughout the grand hall. Lord Devern stepped forward and said loudly “This is a false prophecy, with no indication of when it will occur and how it will come true. Chara will never end.”
“Hold your tongue.” An elderly woman’s voice rose from the back. Moving out from the crowd Lanue could make out the round shape of Lady Serra of the Trinity estate. “Prophecies are not false and should never be disregarded.”
She cleared her throat and spoke with the air from her vast lungs “I think we can all agree that this is referring to the downfall of magic, by an invading land.”
Several nods and affirmative mummers ran threw the crowd. Then Lord Devern, a tall and lean man, stepped towards Lady Serra. Their closeness made for an uncomfortable balance in the hall.
“Chara is born in us, there is no way to ‘unfold’ it. That is impossible.” Lord Devern facial expression was committed to his words.
“Master Teir Charee, what do you believe it means?” the King commanded.
The old man returned his gaze to his King and began explaining each line and their possible meanings. This took sometime as the court listened carefully to prophecy. Lanue could see their interested expressions on their faces and that made him begin to fidget with his apprentices’ tablet. When the Master and he were working on the list of meanings one of them became a priority. They needed the King to take action on it, but they didn’t know how. Lanue heard his master approach the topic and perked his ears to hear every intake of breath to every mummer of sound.
“’A new champion not yet known, with a beast, comes to the dark king.’ If the prophecy is correct in the downfall of our Kingdom then finding the champion becomes imperative to restoring our glory. I recommend a campaign in search of the champion.”
As expected that brought on an interruption of comments and then Lady Serra’s voice sounded out above all others. “In all of Terian how are we to find a single champion?”
“It’s a fouls quest your majesty. If any part of this prophecy is true then fortifying the country should be the highest priority.” Lord Devern stared down at the Lady Serra. There families have always been struggling for the Kings favor and they’ve made no secret of it. They both played their parts perfectly, but Lanue always thought of it as acting whenever they bickered. His mind began to imagine them in court jester’s costumes and he released a slight giggle that got him an glare from Master Teir.
---------------- Sometime Much Later: another scene ------------------
As Lanue sat on the mountain edge, he looked down into the valley towards the campsite of the dark hunters and their riders. He could barely make it out from his distance, but they appeared to be sitting by a fire. Deciding that they are eating, he began nibbling on a small slice of bread himself. He pulled his cloak tighter as a cool breeze tickled his ears. He started thinking about his last moments with Master Teir.
Teir had pulled out a long black cloak from his locked box, the box that Lanue was never allowed to open, and handed it to Lanue. “This will hide you and your gift. You must wear it always.” He reached back into the box and pulled out an amulet. “This will protect the wearer from magic and will not allow the wearer to perform magic. You must study this and use it as needed.” Reaching in the final time he pulled out a pair of arm bands. “These are for the champion.”
“What do they do?”
“I don’t know,” handing them over, the master pulled his hands back and shook them as if expelling dust “they were left to me by my master and the masters before. They hold no Chara, but yet they still vibrate in my soul when I hold them.”
“I don’t feel anything.” Lanue said.
“It was the same when I was younger, it will take time before you can sense it.”
Lanue looked over the pieces carefully. The black cloak looked very ordinary, no expensive stitching or material. However, it was sturdy and would make for a good traveling cloak. The amulet was probably the richest item he had ever handled. The chain was three gold ropes laced with a thin green silk cord. The center piece was an upside down triangle with four loops on the two short sides where the chains connected. The green silk cord connected on the second loop. The triangle plaice had a broken Chara symbol with the green silk holding it in an eyelet shape. Finally, the brown arm bands are made from ordinary leather and had pressed red flames circling them.
“Make sure you focus on children near the age of discovery as they do not have the gift yet. Don’t use your own gifts unless absolutely necessary. Use these.” he handed me a bag of gems and gold coin “... and when that runs out you’ll have to work or hunt. I wished this was different. I wish I could send you out there with an army of warriors. I wish the King didn’t disrespect the intensity of the prophecy. I wish I could go with you, but my duty is to the King and I will fight for his ignorance even if he doesn’t see the Dark men until they are slitting his throat. When you find the champion, take him to the Old one, he’ll know what to do. Now go. Take the tunnels, before they breach the castle.”
Lanue regretted that he left his Master, even to this day. “I hope this quest isn’t in vain Master Teir.” Lanue began to survey his surroundings and preparing for sleep. The dark hunters may not be able to sense him, but they could still see him if he wasn’t careful. It looked like both the hunters and Lanue would be sleeping soon.
---------------- Personal injection to clarify ------------------
My nephew wrote:
“so what im think is you need to put a background to the dark hunters like maybe they were a group of clerics or they were like a rebellion to this far away kingdom who over powered you know something the type of reader you think would read this book would like.”
This made me realize that I didn’t provide him any details on the dark hunters and riders, so here I am providing you with a description. Their first appearance happens shortly after the prophecy and before the scene above. I am not including the introduction scene because I need to save something for the book.
The Dark Hunters have skin that is black with the texture close to a cows hide. They are in-between the size of a horse and that of an elephant. They have wings, which are like a bats where they are flexible and thin. They have four paws and tall legs for there shape, but they look more like a panthers' legs than a horses. The tail reaches to the ground and is as long as a cats would be at their size, but it mostly stays down. The head is a little wide, round, and flat near the bridge of the nose. Now that I’m picturing them the “Dark Furry” from How to Train Your Dragon
closely resembles what they look like. Their handicap is that they are not natural flyers and it requires that they touch the ground to rest frequently. Their sense of smell is also weakened when in the air. They can smell and track magic like a dog tracker. They are also trained in battle tactics. Their riders are humans trainers.
The next scene jumps to another character build in the same book.
----- Sometime later on the edge of the kingdom: another chapter starts ----------
On the far east side of Terian a small village begin to wake up and prepare for its Sol’Tin’Nire festival. Every year at the beginning of the day the town’s people would gather on the street with pots filled with dirt. The farmers planted seeds for this year’s harvest, the females of age plant flowers to show the boys they were ready to begin courtship, and the elder would plant tree seeds to symbolize strong life. The Charee would walk through the town and use Chara and water to help the plants grow. By the end of the day the plants and trees were ready to be placed in the ground and the flowers were ready to be picked for headdresses for the evening dance.
Next year Solvey would get to bring a pot of flowers on festival day, until then she helped the town’s people prepare for the day.
---------------- End For Now ------------------
I wanted to explain a little about Lanue’s character traits and Charee. Lanue isn’t a strong character at first. He is the type of boy who works very hard and likes the quiet. He isn’t herioc, he just does his job. By the end of this book he is going to be more of his own person with his own ideas, but he was raised as an apprentice in a blacksmith and then as an apprentice in Chara—living the first half of his life in the role of a student. Charee is another name for "Mage". It is a title that you attach at the end of a mage's name. So Tier Charee was Tier before he became a magic user. Lanue, after his apprenticeship would be Lanue Charee, but he didn't finish under Tier. Chara is the energy that the Charee's use (think of it as Mana).
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading on my most recent dreams. Remember let me know what you think, leave a comment!